Two months and counting

I hate to leave something hanging, like my little bloggy here. I'm nowhere near done with this journey. I'm still eating about 90-95% "paleo." For any newbies to that way of thinking, it is basically meat + veggies with a little fruit thrown in. There are different interpretations of it. I have added in a little dairy (usually just some real dairy coffee creamer and some cheese here and there). About once a week, I'll have some rice or corn chips. That may change at some point, but for now that's what I can live with. I'm not militant about soy consumption, but don't use any at home. However, if there's some in my chicken at Qdoba, I'm not freaking out about it. I'm eating a salad instead of cheese-laden nachos, so it's got to be better.

Winner, winner chicken dinner
I have lost a total of about 11.5 pounds since the beginning of Sept., but even without that, I generally feel much better. Sometime in the past two weeks or so (can't nail down exactly), I have realized that the pain in my hands is gone. They are a little stiff when I wake up, but I don't have pain or any shooting pains throughout the day!!! That is huge. I was to the point of hurting just trying to wash my hair in the shower.

Real-world obstacles
My struggles really seem to be when I want a quick lunch out because I'm running errands. I'm used to eating in the car on my way to/from somewhere, and it's really difficult to eat a salad while driving! I always have to be thinking ahead to bring leftovers, or if there aren't any to pull together a salad option. I still crave french fries. I've had them about once in the past month. They are good. I cannot tell a lie. I have a little dark chocolate from time to time. The good thing about high-cocoa dark chocolate is that you don't really WANT to eat a lot of it. Potlucks and social gatherings are also tricky. It may be that I BYOB (banana) or eat before I go.

I had a Papa John's pizza last week. My first real pizza in over two months. Pizza is the reason I put off doing any of this for so long. I thought a life without pizza was no life at all. Turns out I was wrong. First of all, the pizza I ordered was not the pizza I got. BOOOOO! And second, I felt all heavy and crappy and acid-reflux-y all night. I just feel better when I eat veggies and lean meat.

Surprises
I ate brussel sprouts and cauliflower as my side dishes last night, which made up half my plate. Jerod really likes the way those taste. I admit they weren't as bad as I thought they might be. Don't go calling me a raging fan or anything, but we can put them in the rotation.

So that's where I am two months out. When I have a bad eating day, I go back toward the whole 30 way, with very little sugar, dairy, etc. for a few days to reset. I've pretty much banned gluten, though I'm planning to eat dressing on Thanksgiving. It's just easier for me to make a hard rule and follow it. Gluten seems a good place to land.

Thanks for cheering me on!

Day Twenty-Four (Monday)

Today is my last Monday. Well, my last Monday on Whole 30. Though, I kind of am seeing myself doing some version of this long-term. My inflammation hasn't quieted down, which is sad. I was hoping to see a tangible result in that arena. There is information to support a few other foods as inflammatory, such as eggs and nightshades (more on nightshades here). But for the sake of finishing, I am going to explore those in about two weeks. I don't think I'm the type to eat chicken and greens for breakfast. Breakfast really is the hardest meal. Not only do I not want to eat in the morning, there aren't many compliant foods that are healthy and get your protein going.

Ate:

• Spinach and eggs. Key Lime Larabar. I might need to learn how to make my own Larabars, or buy them in bulk. I try not to have one every day.
• EarthFare salad bar with spinach, oranges, strawberries, chicken + my own dressing with a few steamed veggies (and a $2 off coupon!)
• Some roasted cashews (compliant!!!)
• STEAK. I admit it. I love some beef. Jerod grilled rib-eyes. And some squash and peppers. Gosh, steak is yummy. I probably ate a little too much of it.

Impressions:

My last three days on whole 30 will be on a retreat. The good thing is, our meals are provided by an on-site cafeteria, and they're willing to work with dietary needs. I HATE being "that person" who has a list of issues. But, I will need a source of protein and vegetables that aren't soaked in butter. There aren't fridges in the room (though they offered me one--how nice!), so I'm stocking up on some fruit and nuts and Larabars for snacks. I'm fairly sure they have a salad bar, so I'll bring my own dressing. Should be interesting, to say the least. There's really nowhere to eat out that's 100% compliant and tasty. Every salad dressing served in public has soybean oil and sugar in it. And you really aren't talking to nutritionists when you ask servers and cashiers what's in the food. Most of them just shrug when you ask about gluten (what's that?) or soy. Lots of places have online allergens listed, and gluten, soy and dairy are generally listed. But there's really no way to know if stuff has sugar in it. Meats are glazed in it, MSG isn't always listed, and a whole host of other preservatives and chemicals. Not that I'll never eat out again, by any stretch; but this has been eye-opening in the sense of how much "cleaner" I can eat at home. That said, the move away from convenience foods is also a major challenge. I have no idea what's for dinner tomorrow night. We have salad, asparagus, and some ground beef on deck. What in the world sounds good with those components? I constantly have to think ahead to make sure I can stay on track. Hopefully, once we get a decent rotation of meals, I can look more toward planning out menus. Still not very good at that. SIX MORE DAYS!!!!

Why am I doing this? Why? Why?

 Why would anyone go on such a restrictive eating plan?

The short answer is: I am unhealthy and in pain.

But behind any good short answer is a longer one.

• Over 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS. It's a metabolic syndrome that affects about 1 in 10 women. It jacks with your hormones and blood sugar, and can lead to heart disease and diabetes. NO FUN!

•  I am now 30-50 pounds overweight. And let me just tell you how awesome it feels to type that out and see it on a screen. (not awesome, if you're keeping score at home) Lack of discipline, excuses, weariness, whatever...thankfully, when I look in the mirror I don't see obese. But the facts are there. And when I see photos of myself I die inside.

• The universe is conspiring against me. In November, I started experiencing stiffness in my hands and knees and lots of numbness in my hands. In December, my middle finger swelled up and stayed that way for three months. I went to the orthopedic doc in January. In March, I went to my internist with a list of issues. She did blood work, and called to tell me I tested positive for lupus. (The nurse failed to tell me that didn't mean I HAD lupus=FAIL!!!!!) Thank God my smart brother is a doctor, and helped me sort out what that meant.

• March and April and July have me meeting with a rheumatologist and doing blood work to determine that I have some kind of systemic inflammation (arthritis), but not lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. My hands are still numb a LOT. I have to take daily medication for this, and I'm concerned about the long-term effects.

• Speaking of smart brothers...my brother decided to go vegan last fall and is doing remarkably well, eliminating the need for high blood pressure medication that moderate healthy diet and exercise weren't keeping at bay. So, sis-in-law and my parents have all gone vegan. (Did I mention that no one told me about this until AFTER I ordered the super-deluxe Omaha Steaks package for my Dad's Christmas gift??) They are all eating better and doing well. 

•  If my Dad can lose 31 pounds after a life of cheeseburgers 4x a week (maybe I exaggerate, but the man can put away some food) and be mostly-vegan, surely but surely I can eat better!!!

• Then, I had either a bad cheeseburger dream or a gift from God in the night. Or both. In December, I was coming home from Charlotte late one evening. I had only snacked at dinner-time and was quite hungry. The golden arches were the first thing I saw upon coming off my exit, so I pulled in and got a happy meal. I don't generally eat at McDonald's very much, even though I do love their half-sweet and half-unsweet tea. Man. That junk tasted so good. I felt a little guilty, and went to bed. I dreamed that night that I was in the hospital with some unknown illness. It was several days, and no one could or would tell me what was wrong. Finally, three doctors came into my room to give me the news. I was prepared for something terrible. They all sat down and carefully and quietly told me that the problem was I needed to lose 30 pounds. I stared at them incredulously. You hospitalized me for this!? They were very serious...and I was angry. I mean, I KNEW I was fat. I didn't THEM to tell me. (or did I?) Then, I woke up. And that dream has stuck with me.

• Finally, I have been on mild depression drugs since after Shepard was born. And knowing what I know now about how they make me feel, I probably needed them in college. I'm just so much steadier and less moody. The whole house can probably tell when I accidentally skip a dose or two. Sweet husband knows, for sure. I'd really like to see if I can regulate this issue with diet...killing the ups and downs of blood sugar and sacrificing my need desire for salty, chip-like snack foods.

 Here are someone else's 30 reasons to do Whole 30. I thought they were pretty good. Who doesn't want to sleep better?

Welcome. What's this?

I just had to come up with a title for this little blogette. I'm not sure how long I'll be blogging here, but I'm about to undertake a monumental thing. And I can't afford therapy. So, I'll be writing (and possibly moaning and groaning) about it here.

Here are some alternate titles I kicked around:

• Kicking and Screaming
• I Had Almost Rather Die
• It's Dairy Sad when Wheat is Bad
• Pizza is my REAL BFF
• A Journey to Middle of My Body
• Whole lot of nothing

These titles didn't quite have the ring, though.

I am about to undertake the Whole 30 food challenge. Here's a linky for more info on it.

Basically, it's eating whole foods for 30 days. So...no dairy, grains, legumes, alcohol or potatoes. And soy, peanuts, MSG, and basically anything processed.

Doesn't THAT sound like a rip-roaring good time!?

So, here I am.

Dreading it. But there are some very real reasons to do this thing. More on that soon.