Two months and counting

I hate to leave something hanging, like my little bloggy here. I'm nowhere near done with this journey. I'm still eating about 90-95% "paleo." For any newbies to that way of thinking, it is basically meat + veggies with a little fruit thrown in. There are different interpretations of it. I have added in a little dairy (usually just some real dairy coffee creamer and some cheese here and there). About once a week, I'll have some rice or corn chips. That may change at some point, but for now that's what I can live with. I'm not militant about soy consumption, but don't use any at home. However, if there's some in my chicken at Qdoba, I'm not freaking out about it. I'm eating a salad instead of cheese-laden nachos, so it's got to be better.

Winner, winner chicken dinner
I have lost a total of about 11.5 pounds since the beginning of Sept., but even without that, I generally feel much better. Sometime in the past two weeks or so (can't nail down exactly), I have realized that the pain in my hands is gone. They are a little stiff when I wake up, but I don't have pain or any shooting pains throughout the day!!! That is huge. I was to the point of hurting just trying to wash my hair in the shower.

Real-world obstacles
My struggles really seem to be when I want a quick lunch out because I'm running errands. I'm used to eating in the car on my way to/from somewhere, and it's really difficult to eat a salad while driving! I always have to be thinking ahead to bring leftovers, or if there aren't any to pull together a salad option. I still crave french fries. I've had them about once in the past month. They are good. I cannot tell a lie. I have a little dark chocolate from time to time. The good thing about high-cocoa dark chocolate is that you don't really WANT to eat a lot of it. Potlucks and social gatherings are also tricky. It may be that I BYOB (banana) or eat before I go.

I had a Papa John's pizza last week. My first real pizza in over two months. Pizza is the reason I put off doing any of this for so long. I thought a life without pizza was no life at all. Turns out I was wrong. First of all, the pizza I ordered was not the pizza I got. BOOOOO! And second, I felt all heavy and crappy and acid-reflux-y all night. I just feel better when I eat veggies and lean meat.

Surprises
I ate brussel sprouts and cauliflower as my side dishes last night, which made up half my plate. Jerod really likes the way those taste. I admit they weren't as bad as I thought they might be. Don't go calling me a raging fan or anything, but we can put them in the rotation.

So that's where I am two months out. When I have a bad eating day, I go back toward the whole 30 way, with very little sugar, dairy, etc. for a few days to reset. I've pretty much banned gluten, though I'm planning to eat dressing on Thanksgiving. It's just easier for me to make a hard rule and follow it. Gluten seems a good place to land.

Thanks for cheering me on!

Day Nine. (Sunday)

There's just not much wrong with any kind of Sunday. The chance to worship, rest, and otherwise unwind is always good for me. But then, the Panthers lost with :02 left in the game. What!?! Oh well.

Ate:

• I had to pack an on-the-go breakfast of shaved turkey, cashews and banana for the road.
• We tried Showmars for lunch, as I didn't feel I could face Qdoba today. I had a green romaine and iceberg lettuce salad with grilled chicken and tomatoes. And their Greek vinaigrette. I should have brought my own dressing. The cook there said there was a little sugar in it to cut the vinegar. Honestly, it's so tangy there can't be much. The chicken is also pretty basic. I don't think there was much in the way of "bad" ingredients. Next time will bring my vinaigrette. You'd think a Greek restaurant would have just plain oil and vinegar!? That's an entirely Greek thing.
• After some pretty bland food thus far today, I wanted some flavor, so I pulled out my new GHEE (clarified butter) and sauteed some apples with cinnamon. They were ok. They smelled AWESOME. Just wanted to pretend I was having a treat.
• Dinner was prime rib burgers with a spinach salad and some sweet potatoes. Still want cheese on that joker.

 Impressions:

I may never get over my desire for macaroni and cheese. After all this, it might have to be a "sometimes" food. Had a great conversation with another "paleo" mom at church, who was very encouraging. She saw a whole30 post on FB and came to give me a big hug and encouragement and share some tips and secrets. She is doing this with her whole family, which is an ultimate goal for us. For everyone to be at least in the eating about 80% fruits and veggies, whole foods, and FAR FAR less sugar and processed food. I don't think we'll ever be 100% strict, but I know that this is a do-able thing generally.

Had an epiphany at the grocery store on Friday. I remember my doctor once telling me that to eat better, I should do the majority of my shopping around the edges of the grocery store. I remembered thinking, "but what about my cereal and stuff?" I realized on Friday that of my list of 20 things, all but one came from the edges of the store (mustard--totes ok). Lots of produce, some good meat, good eggs, etc.
000

Day Eight. (Saturday)

It was a glorious Saturday, straight from heaven. Light breeze. Sunny. 75 degrees. And kind of cool in the shade. I was made for days like these, particularly when they fall on Saturdays. I was pretty desperate to get outside for some weeks now, so we all headed down to our area state park by the river. Picnic, playground and a hike was just what the doctor ordered...even if I did have to carry my 35-lb. child the better part of the way back. A good reminder as to the amount of extra weight I literally carry every day. Of course, when it's all contained in a squirmy back-package it's a little different. But, my extra adipose doesn't tell me I'm pretty. So there's that.

Ate:

• Bacon and egg/kale/spinach/green onion omelet. Coffee with tiniest splash of flavored creamer. Y'all, I cannot do black coffee. It makes me feel like Hulk, when he gets all green and mean. Going to continue with the coconut stuff I made, but I needed a moment today that felt less mean and green.
• Our picnic was some shaved turkey and tomato in a lettuce wrap, cashews and a banana and some grapes. The boys had sandwiches. With bread. That wasn't all that tempting. Whole wheat bread is really something I can live without.
• I said something to Shepard about ice cream. Dang. Then I wanted ice cream for two hours. I don't think it's the sweet as much as the cream. I took Shepard by for a Chick-fil-A dinner, and the cashier asked if I'd like the new mocha chocolate chip milkshake. JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL!!! "Yes, " I answered, "but I'm not going to order it." Empowered or crazy? I ate a banana "bread" Larabar (just dates, banana and walnuts)
• A handful of cashews tided me over, as I was a busy bee trying to get some housework done while the littlest hiker took a nap.
• Dinner was leftover grilled chicken (go chef Jerod!!) and spinach salad with apples, walnuts and a quick homemade (apple cider) vinaigrette. Was still hungry after dinner, but didn't get a chance to eat any more.

We did a fire pit, and I made a s'more for Shepard. Kid did not eat it. I'm telling him it's a chocolate sandwich with a roasted marshmallow, and he hands it back to me. Kids these days. smh

My pic-a-nickers.

Impressions: 

I didn't really care much about eating today since the weather was so nice. And that was nice. Just ate things that were on my good list and dreamed a little bit about ice cream--which is weird since I really don't eat much ice cream anyway. Did want something for my afternoon snack of the potato chip or french fry variety. I realize those are sugar. But they are SALTY sugar, and my favorite kind. Darn tubers.

Surprises:

Still not feeling anything "magical." Was hoping for the deep, deep sleep that some folks report. I am more restless. Had crazy crazy dreams all night Friday night. Maybe coconut aminos (instead of soy sauce) mess with your head. Overall, I know this is better food, so magic or not...I keep at it.

Day Seven (Friday)

I heart Friday. I mean, who doesn't? And the lower humidity put a spring in my step...until I remembered I couldn't have my awesome version of unhealthy coffee (full of hot cocoa and flavored creamer). Made some constant comment tea (sooo yummy), but again without a spot of honey...hard to get down. Regis (the dog) was willing to give it a try when I turned my back for 2 seconds. He totally lapped up my tea! So, even if I'd wanted to finish it, I couldn't.

So, blurging around the office this morning with one eyelid open. This part makes me feel like the guy in Men In Black wandering around saying "SUGAR! SUGAR!"

This is my snack-box. I know if I get hungry, and don't have anything available, I will crash and burn.

Ate:

• Oh goodness. The eggs again. I tried to make some pancetta. It burned in some places and was uncooked in others. So, I zapped it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Yikes. I made bacon bits. Tried to make an omelet with bacon bits and spinach. Overkilled the paprika. Ate half of it and quit. Had with natural applesauce. (and mentally, with cheese, but whatevs)
• Cashews to get me through morning. I probably need to lay off the cashews. But it really was only about three handfuls.
• Ate a banana on the way to the grocery store on lunch break. That darned fresh pizza in the deli area! Ran home and fixed three lettuce wraps with mustard, turkey (2), roast beef (1) and fresh tomato and a squish of guacamole. Not nearly as good as a real sub. Just sayin'. Ate some strawberries.
• Dinner is finally some chicken and broccoli*. And sweet potatoes. And zucchini, squash and onions. Holla.

Will probably not do these in coconut oil again.

Long live Chef Jerod. Whole 30-approved grilled chicken! Fan-freakin'-tastic.

Impressions: Coffee makes me a better human.

Surprises:
Passed the Krispy Kreme store without driving through (not that I usually do, but my crave-ometer didn't ramp up to the point of turning). No real cheats so far. Seven days. I thought I might be maniacally grabbing for bread products.

*In an odd twist of life, one of the things Jerod said to me upon my taking on this whole 30 thing was "As long as we don't eat chicken and broccoli and green beans every night..." I am flummoxed and somewhat proud to announce, as of day SEVEN, I haven't had a bit of any of those things. What the what?! I don't fix chicken very well. It totally skeeves me out in its uncooked state. And we haven't had enough time to prep and cook it this week.

Day Four (Tuesday)

or..."why are my teeth fuzzy?" day. Seriously. I brush them. Why do they feel fuzzier? Do sugar and carbs keep them squeaky? Things we'll never know.

Today was just nose to the grindstone day. It's a super-busy week at work, so it's good that I don't have time to sit and daydream about food. And it's nice to enjoy leftovers without worrying so much about what to eat. Believe it or not. Yesterday, I just went home for lunch, heated up my veggie soup and ate it. No thinking. I like food with no thinking. Anything I can cross off the list with no thinking is a win in my world. And I put the rest of it in the freezer for another no thinking lunch.

Impressions:
I'm definitely already feeling better in the sense of not having sugar highs and lows throughout the day. I mean, I'm not skipping through the meadows of flowers or anything, but can tell a difference in a few days.

"Christmas" eggs. Sound better than they tasted.

Ate:

• Bacon & eggs with green peppers, tomatoes and onions and some grapes
• Vegetable soup, a few slices of turkey and some cashews
• Natural applesauce
• Spaghetti squash with meat sauce and added green peppers, onions, carrots to approved Del Grosso marinara. Made a double batch and froze half to eat next week.
• Was so hungry at 9:30 that I had a handful of cashews and a banana.
• All I'm drinking is water and my morning coffee with the coconut milk "creamer" I made.

Spaghetti squash. Cooked in crock pot as is for four hours. Perfecto. Just looks funny.

Food thoughts: I definitely prefer my spinach/kale eggs over green pepper eggs. No flavor in those, even though I sauteed everything in the bacon pan.
I could probably eat spaghetti squash as my pasta long-term. Particularly if I could toss a little grated parmesan on there (after this, if I'm not lactose-intolerant). Jerod liked it too, but the boys had just whole grain pasta with their spaghetti. I didn't miss the garlic bread. A good complete meal that will give me leftovers.

"Spaghetti!!"

Last Hurrahs and Obstacles

I'm fairly sure this whole 30 thing is going to be way more mental than physical. I first read it about it in early summer and thought of lots of reasons not to do it "just yet." There's never going to be a good or easy time to do it.

But it is good for me to have some ramp-up time. For one, I've been working on my "before" picture, as they say. Eating my favorites this week. That goes to show what kind of psychological hold food has on me. "Just one last pizza...just one last cheeseburger..." It's only 30 days! And...it's 30 whole days, y'all!

Not actual food I ate, but I'm not opposed to it, either.

My main obstacle is time. 

I don't carve out a lot of time for meal planning and prep as it is. When I ever do, life is so much easier. But it's something I hate. I can never think of good things and when I try to do some new pinterest recipe, I usually end up with a "pinstrosity."

The plan: 
I hope to counteract this with some pre-planning and menu-gathering. I'll share that in my first few days of the program. I'm trying to find as many crock-pot recipes as I can. If there's something already cooked when I get home, I'm a LOT less likely to reach for the chips. And I'm sooo hoping that my insatiable carb cravings get ousted. Also, I'm going to hunt in EarthFare for some approved frozen meals, and have a few stand-by options for desperation.
The good news is, EarthFare is about 1/4 mile from my office. If I really get in a pinch, I can go there for a fresh salad. And pretend I don't see the pasta. STARING. AT. ME.

My next obstacle is feeding Shepard. 

While I don't think this is a bad eating plan for a pre-schooler (maybe we'll try some fun new veggies together!), I also know that this child love him some rice, tortillas, chex mix, etc. So, those things will be in the house.

The plan:
My menu planning thus far is attempting to make something we can both eat, then let Jerod and Shepard have the noodles, rice, crackers or whatever would go with it. I'm also trying to make week 1 have some fairly common foods, so it doesn't feel so drastic.

My last and maybe most daunting obstacle is stuff I just don't like. 

Mushrooms, olives, seafood, brussel sprouts, cooked greens, most raw vegetables...seriously. Jerod is soo on board with this, but he is begging me not to eat green beans and broccoli every night.

The plan:
My goal is to try lots of new things once I get the hang of it all, so by week 2 start adding in some options (with back-ups in case they're gag-a-rific). I really don't think I'll ever be able to eat a mushroom, but I'm trying hard to keep options open.

Last night's dinner was a last hurrah combined with a so-so salad. The salad was fantastic, but the dressing will have to go (has some sugar) and the feta cheese will have to go. I can have strawberries and walnuts though! And I'm pretty sure the homemade macaroni and cheese "that I made for Shepard," wink wink is way off-limits. By the way, Shepard would not eat any of the mac-n-cheese. ?? But he had some turkey pepperoni, sweet potato chips and two bananas. Whatever!

So thanking God I gave up sodas in January. We're not talking yet about how I'll get my coffee fix in the morning, but at least I don't have to battle soda addiction as well. Black coffee? I put enough stuff in my coffee that you wouldn't know it's coffee anymore. Sigh.

I won't lie. I did not eat the raw carrots. Gack. But I am going to see what I can "hide" them in for the course of this challenge.

Why am I doing this? Why? Why?

 Why would anyone go on such a restrictive eating plan?

The short answer is: I am unhealthy and in pain.

But behind any good short answer is a longer one.

• Over 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS. It's a metabolic syndrome that affects about 1 in 10 women. It jacks with your hormones and blood sugar, and can lead to heart disease and diabetes. NO FUN!

•  I am now 30-50 pounds overweight. And let me just tell you how awesome it feels to type that out and see it on a screen. (not awesome, if you're keeping score at home) Lack of discipline, excuses, weariness, whatever...thankfully, when I look in the mirror I don't see obese. But the facts are there. And when I see photos of myself I die inside.

• The universe is conspiring against me. In November, I started experiencing stiffness in my hands and knees and lots of numbness in my hands. In December, my middle finger swelled up and stayed that way for three months. I went to the orthopedic doc in January. In March, I went to my internist with a list of issues. She did blood work, and called to tell me I tested positive for lupus. (The nurse failed to tell me that didn't mean I HAD lupus=FAIL!!!!!) Thank God my smart brother is a doctor, and helped me sort out what that meant.

• March and April and July have me meeting with a rheumatologist and doing blood work to determine that I have some kind of systemic inflammation (arthritis), but not lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. My hands are still numb a LOT. I have to take daily medication for this, and I'm concerned about the long-term effects.

• Speaking of smart brothers...my brother decided to go vegan last fall and is doing remarkably well, eliminating the need for high blood pressure medication that moderate healthy diet and exercise weren't keeping at bay. So, sis-in-law and my parents have all gone vegan. (Did I mention that no one told me about this until AFTER I ordered the super-deluxe Omaha Steaks package for my Dad's Christmas gift??) They are all eating better and doing well. 

•  If my Dad can lose 31 pounds after a life of cheeseburgers 4x a week (maybe I exaggerate, but the man can put away some food) and be mostly-vegan, surely but surely I can eat better!!!

• Then, I had either a bad cheeseburger dream or a gift from God in the night. Or both. In December, I was coming home from Charlotte late one evening. I had only snacked at dinner-time and was quite hungry. The golden arches were the first thing I saw upon coming off my exit, so I pulled in and got a happy meal. I don't generally eat at McDonald's very much, even though I do love their half-sweet and half-unsweet tea. Man. That junk tasted so good. I felt a little guilty, and went to bed. I dreamed that night that I was in the hospital with some unknown illness. It was several days, and no one could or would tell me what was wrong. Finally, three doctors came into my room to give me the news. I was prepared for something terrible. They all sat down and carefully and quietly told me that the problem was I needed to lose 30 pounds. I stared at them incredulously. You hospitalized me for this!? They were very serious...and I was angry. I mean, I KNEW I was fat. I didn't THEM to tell me. (or did I?) Then, I woke up. And that dream has stuck with me.

• Finally, I have been on mild depression drugs since after Shepard was born. And knowing what I know now about how they make me feel, I probably needed them in college. I'm just so much steadier and less moody. The whole house can probably tell when I accidentally skip a dose or two. Sweet husband knows, for sure. I'd really like to see if I can regulate this issue with diet...killing the ups and downs of blood sugar and sacrificing my need desire for salty, chip-like snack foods.

 Here are someone else's 30 reasons to do Whole 30. I thought they were pretty good. Who doesn't want to sleep better?