Last Hurrahs and Obstacles

I'm fairly sure this whole 30 thing is going to be way more mental than physical. I first read it about it in early summer and thought of lots of reasons not to do it "just yet." There's never going to be a good or easy time to do it.

But it is good for me to have some ramp-up time. For one, I've been working on my "before" picture, as they say. Eating my favorites this week. That goes to show what kind of psychological hold food has on me. "Just one last pizza...just one last cheeseburger..." It's only 30 days! And...it's 30 whole days, y'all!

Not actual food I ate, but I'm not opposed to it, either.

My main obstacle is time. 

I don't carve out a lot of time for meal planning and prep as it is. When I ever do, life is so much easier. But it's something I hate. I can never think of good things and when I try to do some new pinterest recipe, I usually end up with a "pinstrosity."

The plan: 
I hope to counteract this with some pre-planning and menu-gathering. I'll share that in my first few days of the program. I'm trying to find as many crock-pot recipes as I can. If there's something already cooked when I get home, I'm a LOT less likely to reach for the chips. And I'm sooo hoping that my insatiable carb cravings get ousted. Also, I'm going to hunt in EarthFare for some approved frozen meals, and have a few stand-by options for desperation.
The good news is, EarthFare is about 1/4 mile from my office. If I really get in a pinch, I can go there for a fresh salad. And pretend I don't see the pasta. STARING. AT. ME.

My next obstacle is feeding Shepard. 

While I don't think this is a bad eating plan for a pre-schooler (maybe we'll try some fun new veggies together!), I also know that this child love him some rice, tortillas, chex mix, etc. So, those things will be in the house.

The plan:
My menu planning thus far is attempting to make something we can both eat, then let Jerod and Shepard have the noodles, rice, crackers or whatever would go with it. I'm also trying to make week 1 have some fairly common foods, so it doesn't feel so drastic.

My last and maybe most daunting obstacle is stuff I just don't like. 

Mushrooms, olives, seafood, brussel sprouts, cooked greens, most raw vegetables...seriously. Jerod is soo on board with this, but he is begging me not to eat green beans and broccoli every night.

The plan:
My goal is to try lots of new things once I get the hang of it all, so by week 2 start adding in some options (with back-ups in case they're gag-a-rific). I really don't think I'll ever be able to eat a mushroom, but I'm trying hard to keep options open.

Last night's dinner was a last hurrah combined with a so-so salad. The salad was fantastic, but the dressing will have to go (has some sugar) and the feta cheese will have to go. I can have strawberries and walnuts though! And I'm pretty sure the homemade macaroni and cheese "that I made for Shepard," wink wink is way off-limits. By the way, Shepard would not eat any of the mac-n-cheese. ?? But he had some turkey pepperoni, sweet potato chips and two bananas. Whatever!

So thanking God I gave up sodas in January. We're not talking yet about how I'll get my coffee fix in the morning, but at least I don't have to battle soda addiction as well. Black coffee? I put enough stuff in my coffee that you wouldn't know it's coffee anymore. Sigh.

I won't lie. I did not eat the raw carrots. Gack. But I am going to see what I can "hide" them in for the course of this challenge.

Why am I doing this? Why? Why?

 Why would anyone go on such a restrictive eating plan?

The short answer is: I am unhealthy and in pain.

But behind any good short answer is a longer one.

• Over 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS. It's a metabolic syndrome that affects about 1 in 10 women. It jacks with your hormones and blood sugar, and can lead to heart disease and diabetes. NO FUN!

•  I am now 30-50 pounds overweight. And let me just tell you how awesome it feels to type that out and see it on a screen. (not awesome, if you're keeping score at home) Lack of discipline, excuses, weariness, whatever...thankfully, when I look in the mirror I don't see obese. But the facts are there. And when I see photos of myself I die inside.

• The universe is conspiring against me. In November, I started experiencing stiffness in my hands and knees and lots of numbness in my hands. In December, my middle finger swelled up and stayed that way for three months. I went to the orthopedic doc in January. In March, I went to my internist with a list of issues. She did blood work, and called to tell me I tested positive for lupus. (The nurse failed to tell me that didn't mean I HAD lupus=FAIL!!!!!) Thank God my smart brother is a doctor, and helped me sort out what that meant.

• March and April and July have me meeting with a rheumatologist and doing blood work to determine that I have some kind of systemic inflammation (arthritis), but not lupus or rheumatoid arthritis. My hands are still numb a LOT. I have to take daily medication for this, and I'm concerned about the long-term effects.

• Speaking of smart brothers...my brother decided to go vegan last fall and is doing remarkably well, eliminating the need for high blood pressure medication that moderate healthy diet and exercise weren't keeping at bay. So, sis-in-law and my parents have all gone vegan. (Did I mention that no one told me about this until AFTER I ordered the super-deluxe Omaha Steaks package for my Dad's Christmas gift??) They are all eating better and doing well. 

•  If my Dad can lose 31 pounds after a life of cheeseburgers 4x a week (maybe I exaggerate, but the man can put away some food) and be mostly-vegan, surely but surely I can eat better!!!

• Then, I had either a bad cheeseburger dream or a gift from God in the night. Or both. In December, I was coming home from Charlotte late one evening. I had only snacked at dinner-time and was quite hungry. The golden arches were the first thing I saw upon coming off my exit, so I pulled in and got a happy meal. I don't generally eat at McDonald's very much, even though I do love their half-sweet and half-unsweet tea. Man. That junk tasted so good. I felt a little guilty, and went to bed. I dreamed that night that I was in the hospital with some unknown illness. It was several days, and no one could or would tell me what was wrong. Finally, three doctors came into my room to give me the news. I was prepared for something terrible. They all sat down and carefully and quietly told me that the problem was I needed to lose 30 pounds. I stared at them incredulously. You hospitalized me for this!? They were very serious...and I was angry. I mean, I KNEW I was fat. I didn't THEM to tell me. (or did I?) Then, I woke up. And that dream has stuck with me.

• Finally, I have been on mild depression drugs since after Shepard was born. And knowing what I know now about how they make me feel, I probably needed them in college. I'm just so much steadier and less moody. The whole house can probably tell when I accidentally skip a dose or two. Sweet husband knows, for sure. I'd really like to see if I can regulate this issue with diet...killing the ups and downs of blood sugar and sacrificing my need desire for salty, chip-like snack foods.

 Here are someone else's 30 reasons to do Whole 30. I thought they were pretty good. Who doesn't want to sleep better?

Welcome. What's this?

I just had to come up with a title for this little blogette. I'm not sure how long I'll be blogging here, but I'm about to undertake a monumental thing. And I can't afford therapy. So, I'll be writing (and possibly moaning and groaning) about it here.

Here are some alternate titles I kicked around:

• Kicking and Screaming
• I Had Almost Rather Die
• It's Dairy Sad when Wheat is Bad
• Pizza is my REAL BFF
• A Journey to Middle of My Body
• Whole lot of nothing

These titles didn't quite have the ring, though.

I am about to undertake the Whole 30 food challenge. Here's a linky for more info on it.

Basically, it's eating whole foods for 30 days. So...no dairy, grains, legumes, alcohol or potatoes. And soy, peanuts, MSG, and basically anything processed.

Doesn't THAT sound like a rip-roaring good time!?

So, here I am.

Dreading it. But there are some very real reasons to do this thing. More on that soon.